The Road Less Travelled — Joseph Tagliarini, MBACP

Greetings to those who are new and to those who are newer... As we settle into the rhythm of the academic year—or whatever demanding treadmill of work, business and daily survival you happen to be running on right now.
I spent some time in the tropics of Asia over the holiday, the Isan area of Northern Thailand to be precise. I watched the World Cup and stayed up late to see some of those games that led to an anticlimactic final, (goodness it was a boring finale) of which I vowed I shall never waste another three weeks of my holiday life sitting on a sofa watching overpaid ballerinas duck and dive under a corrupt football association.

The holiday led to some musings and wonderings for me, I pondered what retired life might look like, what it felt like to not think about work or the pressures or stories from friends and family or of therapy with my clients.

But I also had to deal with my own thoughts and feelings, the fears and regrets that creep up upon us during the rest-down, shutdown periods of life, to which it took a while to adjust.

So: early morning lattes in abundance, the hum of a Honda Rebel, and sun kissed to a bliss in the Isan sun. I roll up to 7-Eleven like the Temu version of Odysseus and walk in the fluorescent, air-conditioned sanctuary without my bow and arrow. A hundred processed cakes sang their siren songs, tomato chips practically throwing themselves from the racks saying ‘Eat me’ and ice cold coconut coffees promising to wash away the dust of the road.

I continued, along the beaten road—along the road less traveled where a thousand smiles greeted me with voices of innocence, mystery, some reminded me, "Hey farang!" (Hey foreigner, hey alien, hey non Thai person).
I came to the realization that all that I own, or all that I think I own (my motorbike, my dwelling, my assets), is all on loan. Yes, I'm responsible, or I have the ability to respond to what I purchase, enjoy, sleep upon, sit upon, rest upon, observe the views, eat, drink more coffee, or ride some more till I shine like a red lobster.
But everything is fleeting, temporary. This hit me like an amazing goal I scored, only for it to be ruled offside by some zealous institutional machine. It really doesn't matter what part of the world I live in, all is on loan. Not just for me, but for all of us.

In the silence, in the not-busying myself, I found myself revisiting regrets, mistakes, hopes, dreams, or indeed the adventure of life I chose. The woulda, shoulda, coulda realm where I mused upon this fact, not to be pessimistic, negative, ungrateful, or somber, but to face the reality that time is limited. Emotions are not always true. Happiness, sadness, adventure, the good, the bad, the ugly—this too shall pass.. and time is something we’re entrusted with.

Look, I’m not some polished TEDx guru with veins and muscles popping out of my neck, selling a ten-step program to inner peace on YouTube, who's claiming he’s got his act together..

The truth (allegedly) is much simpler, sometimes we’re all just running on a hamster wheel driven by dopamine, panic and performance metrics. Grades matter, bills gotta get paid—I get it. But when you strip away the noise, what actually remains? Time is fleeting. Chronos eats us alive, but Kairos—'the quiet moment' over a cup of coffee, sitting with the people you love—that’s the only real currency we have. As my Ghanaian brother Emmanuel, once said to me with that warm, melodic rhythm in his voice: “Josef, dere is a time for everything, oh, and a season for every activity under de heavens…”

We only have this moment. Yes, our grades, our sweat, our connections, our luck and our choices (whether good or bad) got us to a certain stage of life, but these are keys—not the end game, and not a license to keep running around on the treadmill of life like hamsters on dopamine. Another mate of mine, Matthew once said to me “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own..chill out dude, accept it!"

So to anyone caught on the treadmill right now—whether you're managing deadlines, running a household, or just trying to keep your head above water...

How do I—how do we—actually learn to stay in this Kairos moment when everything around us is constantly pulling us back into the daily rush? I’m no expert, and honestly, the only expert of you is you. But when the noise gets loud and distraction takes over, here are three things I try to practice when I need to chill out and ground myself:

· Take a breath before reacting: When an emotion hits or urgency starts screaming at you, just give yourself a three-second pause and a deep breath before you open your mouth or make a move.

· Catch the spiral using your senses: If you catch your mind spiraling into tomorrow or next week, pull yourself back right now. Look around: name three things you can physically see, hear, or touch in this exact second.

· Just do the one thing: When you're having that morning coffee, just drink that holy water! Don't scroll your phone, don't plan the day's targets—just sit there and taste it.

So my dear friends, my dear fellow readers—young or wise, running a business or raising a family, I want to remind you of the thoughts I have for us: Let us accept what we have, enjoy and respect what we have, and aim to learn to stay in the moment. I get it, grades are important, running the business, setting targets, paying and getting the bread and the wages are important, I get it, but what really is important when you pause and reevaluate?
For the Road less traveled is the one within and it’s a beautiful journey, if you take the time to stop and see, just don't forget to put some sun lotion on.

Peace, love and joy